


Life after Arielle

by LongLiveQueliot



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-11 08:13:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17443205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LongLiveQueliot/pseuds/LongLiveQueliot
Summary: This takes place in the Life in the Day timeline after Arielle has passed away. Quentin and Eliot are finding out how to move on with life while mourning her loss and maintaining their love for one another.





	1. The Tribute

Quentin and Eliot walked hand in hand, fingers entwined. Their son Rupert ran ahead of them stopping every now and then to pick flowers.  
  
“Don’t go too far ahead.” Quentin called.  
  
“Stay where we can see you. “ Eliot added.  
  
They both knew that today was a hard day. As a family they were walking to the valley where Arielle had been buried. It had been exactly a year since she unexpectedly passed. It had been the hardest year for them. Even harder than the first year of doing the mosaic and being trapped in Fillorys past.  
  
“Look papa” Rupert said as he ran towards Eliot with his newest flowers.  
  
“These are beautiful.” Eliot said as he leaned over to smell for what was probably the fifth time since they started this walk. “and they smell delightful.”  
  
“Why don’t you go get some of those yellow ones?” Quentin said, pointing towards bushes slightly off of the trail. Rupert eyes lit up. They were further away than he had wandered but his dad was giving him permission.  
  
“Okay daddy.” He shot off towards the bushes that housed the yellow flowers.  
  
Eliot squeezed Quentin’s hand, just a small squeeze. A squeeze that said I am here with you. We are family.  
  
“So, I know we already talked about it but before we get there, are you sure that this is what you want to do?” Eliot said in a low albeit serious tone.  
  
“Yes, I think that this is the perfect tribute. I think she would love it. I love it.” Quentin said confidently. He had been dreading this day. When Arielle first passed away they would visit her grave weekly but all this accomplished was 6 days of sorrow and 1 day of excruciating misery. After 6 weeks of this Eliot had decided they shouldn’t visit anymore. Quentin didn’t disagree. He knew they had made no progress with the mosaic. They had agreed to one more week of crying and then they must remember why they were here. Their purpose. They weren’t avoiding acknowledging her death. They were simply trying to find a way to move on. They had to rededicate themselves to the mosaic.  
  
“I do think it’s a good tribute Q, I just want to make sure that you’re ok.” Elliot confessed. His words pulling Quentin out of sad memories that were still fresh wounds on his heart.  
  
This time it was Quentin who squeezed Eliot’s hand. He stopped abruptly bringing Eliot to a pause next to him. Their eyes met and Quentin released his hand, bringing it slowly up to Eliot’s cheek.  
  
“I love you El, so so much.” He said starring into Eliot’s amber eyes before he leaned in, pushing himself up on his toes. His lips gently met Eliot’s, pressing softly against them for a moment. “Thank you for caring about me so much. I know I can be a hassle.” A small smile came across his face.  
  
Eliot giggled when Quentin said “hassle”. This was an understatement. Eliot constantly worried about Quentin. How could he not? This person he loved so completely, so much he felt that they had be destined to find each other. Destined to love each other. Destined for the life they were living. Quentin was damaged from the moment Eliot met him. Eliot knew that most of that damage was self-inflicted. Quentin would lose himself to the negativity and Eliot would be left rebuilding him. At least when Arielle arrived into their lives he had an accomplice. He missed this most of all. Having someone who understood Quentin’s demons and wanted the same thing. For him to be happy. For him to see himself the way they did. Quentin was this incredible person who no matter how flawed always found the best in other. He loved Eliot endlessly. He believed in the little things. He still loved magic even it was of little use to them now.  
  
Eliot realized that he had been lost in his thoughts. Quentin had rejoined Rupert. Eliot began to walk to join them and wished to himself that today, no matter how painful, today would be the day they started to heal and move forward.  
  
By the time he had reunited with Quentin and Rupert the bouquet he had been picking was so full that his tiny hands could barely contain them.  
  
“I think that might be the most beautiful one you’ve picked yet.” Eliot said.  
  
“Me too papa. Mommy loves my flowers.” Rupert said. He understood she was gone. He was only 5 but his dads had talked to him so much that he knew mommy would not be back.  
  
Quentin reached down to remove the bouquet from Rupert’s hands. Eliot swooped in right after to pull Rupert up on to his hip. Once Rupert was in place Quentin managed to get Eliot’s free hand back into his own. He leaned over towards him and said, “I love you too Q, for always.” Quentin’s eyes shined with happiness.  
  
“Sing to me papa!” Eliot smiled, he loved to sing. He especially loved to sing to Rupert. Rupert was his biggest fan. “Sing my favorite one papa.” He pronounced it fay-bor-it.  
  
Eliot happily obliged Rupert and began to sing Sam Cooke’s nothing can change this love. The walk would take at least another 15 minutes.  
  
__________________________________________  
  
Once in the valley their mood had changed. The last 15 minutes had been nothing but singing and giggles. The sight of the valley was startling. An awkward quiet filled the air around them. The wind was strong and smelled bitter. Rupert was the first to move, sliding himself off Eliot’s hip.  
  
“Daddy, can I have the flowers?”  
  
Quentin gripped the flower stems tightly, placing them into Rupert’s tiny hands. As soon as this was done Rupert was gone. Walking to where Arielle had been buried.  
  
“Alright. I can do this.” Quentin said mostly to himself.  
  
“We can do anything. As long as we’re together Q, we can do anything.”  
  
He felt such love for this man. Quentin didn’t know how he had been so lucky to have Eliot. This man who loved him so much he didn’t mind sharing him with Arielle. The three of them had been together but Quentin always knew it was different between Eliot and Arielle. Their relationship, while romantic, was more rooted in friendship.  
  
“Do you have the seed?” Eliot said, interrupting Quentin’s thoughts. Reaching into his pocket he pulled the unusual seed out to show Eliot.  
  
“I hope this works. This magic, well it’s not exactly our specialty.” Another understatement.  
  
Two months prior, after another deep bought of depression triggered by the loss of Arielle, Quentin had decided that they needed to create a tribute for her. Eliot thought that this would be something like a mural or statue but Quentin had something else in mind. Something he knew that she would have loved. He spent sleepless days working on the math and testing his theories. The reality was he had no idea what he was doing but he had magic. Magic made everything possible.  
  
They had caught up with Rupert and now were looking down on her resting place. An ornate silver plaque laid on the ground. It simply said Arielle Coldwaughter in a beautiful script that Eliot said showed both her grace and beauty. When she had been alive they never discussed last names but they felt the amalgamation of Coldwater and Waugh was befitting. It reflected that the three of them had been more than lovers and friends, they were a family.  
  
Fillorians weren’t much for mourning the dead. They both knew this valley well. The valley of the dead. Arielle’s plaque was the only thing here that wasn’t grassy plains or freshly dug graves. They were the only ones who ever came here to visit. Fillorians thought it was some affliction that only the children of Earth had. It was this attitude that had kept Quentin and Eliot from going into the village and socializing. They didn’t need the judgement of people when they simply wanted to mourn so they kept their distance.  
  
Rupert had laid the bouquet on the plaque. He was standing and talking to his mom. He always did on these trips. He never said anything particularly profound but he could talk for hours.  
  
Quentin and Eliot sat behind Rupert and listening to him speak. Eliot pulled Quentin close to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and placing his chin gently on the top of Quentin’s head. Quentin adjusted himself into the crook of Eliot’s neck and bringing his arms tightly around Eliot’s slender waist. They sat entwined, crying softly.  
  
__________________________________________  
  
They couldn’t have said how much time had passed. Rupert had long since run out of things to say and laid himself down for a nap.  
  
“I thinks it’s time.” Quentin said. His face was stained with trails where tears had streamed. His eyes puffy and red. His voice was strained and hoarse. Eliot simply smiled and nodded. He hoped that they had figured this out. They needed this to work. He needed Quentin to feel like he had accomplished something. Quentin whipped his eyes than his nose. He took a long deep breath and closed his eyes. Eliot knew this was Quentin gathering up his strength. He loved that Quentin did this. The moment eased Eliot’s anxiety.  
  
Eliot stood up first, reaching his hands down to assist Quentin. They walked over and placed the seed a few feet in front of the plaque. Quentin placed both his hands over the seed and Eliot placed his over Quentin’s. They spoke at the same time, a blend of Turkish and ancient Arabic. At first Eliot worried that the spell wasn’t working. He wasn’t really sure what to expect. Before he knew it he had felt a rush of relief. Quentin was smiling up at him.  
  
“Look!” Quentin said as if he had not just spent his day in tears. “It’s growing El!”  
  
Quentin removed his and Eliot’s hands from the seed. Eliot was relieved to see that the seed had successfully planted itself. It was only a seedling. A small trunk had popped up out of the ground.  
  
“It’s beautiful Q.” He said with sincerity. “Let’s add some protective spells to it. We wouldn’t want anything to stop it from growing.”  
  
Eliot admitted to himself that he was more than just relieved by the seeds growth. When Quentin told him he wanted to find a way to make a tree that bore both Peaches and Plums, he thought it sounded impossible. Eliot worried so much that if Quentin failed that he may not be able to pull him from the inevitable depression. It was harder to pull Quentin back to reality now that Rupert was in the picture. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. It was that Rupert needed someone’s full attention. The dark days involved Quentin sleeping alone in the cabin while Rupert played assistant on the mosaic. The depression would consume Quentin. The last time it got bad Eliot had to send Rupert to stay with Arielle’s parents. It took weeks just to get Quentin outside. Eliot didn’t know if he could handle going through that again. He was relieved that he wouldn’t.  
  
Eliot had promised himself he would be good to Rupert. He had also promised himself he would never lose Quentin. After Arielle’s death he found it hard to do both. But today was a good day. Quentin was laughing with joy and excitement. Eliot could tell that he hadn’t thought the seed would grow either. Now all he could think was how much he loved the sound of Quentin's laughter.  
  
They each took turns adding spells to the sapling. First Eliot placed a protection spell that would prevent anything from uprooting the tree. Quentin followed with a spell that would guarantee rain. Eliot than worked on the soil to make sure it was fertile. When they were done, the sun had set and they had placed 14 spells over the sapling.  
  
“I think we’ve covered everything Q.” Eliot stated.  
  
“We probably went a little overboard.”  
  
“Oh we definitely went overboard. How long do you think it will be before it gives fruit?”  
  
“Honestly, I have no idea but I am ok with that.”  
  
“Yeah?” Eliot asked in a soft, unsure tone.  
  
“Yeah. It gives us a happy reason to come and visit.”  
  
Eliot smiled. He loved seeing Quentin excited about something. He loved that today had gone according to plan.  
  
“Why don’t we take our boy and go home. It’s been a long day.”  
  
“That sounds nice.” Quentin replied. “Can we snuggle?”  
  
“Of course we can.” Eliot delighted.  
  
Quentin walked over to where Rupert laid, scooping him up into his arms and resting him against his chest. Eliot walked over. Leaving little kisses on Rupert forehead.  
  
“Today was a good day.” Quentin said.  
  
Eliot brushed the hair out of Quentin’s face placing the strand behind his ear. “It was a beautiful day. I really think she would love this.”  
  
“I know this has not been the easiest year.” Quentin began walking as he said this. “but there is no way I could have gotten through this without you. El, you’re the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”  
  
“Of course I am.” He said with that classic Eliot sass. They both giggled. It was so nice to smile. They would always miss Arielle but for the first time in a year, they felt like everything was going to be ok.  
  
“Thank you for being the best part of my life El. Thank you for seeing things in me that I can’t see. And for being patient.”  
  
“Quentin, I love you. All of you. Every single flaw. Every ounce of perfection. I already told you as long as we’re together Q, we can do anything.”  
  
Quentin couldn’t help but smile. Life could be sad and terrible and tragic but none of that mattered because he got to walk that life with Eliot. He knew that he was right, as long as they were together they could do anything.


	2. Rupert's Constant Interuprtions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quentin is happy but Eliot is sexually frustrated and needs to find a way to keep busy and solve his issues without risking Quentin's feelings.

It had been two months since they returned from planting the tribute tree. Eliot was pleasantly surprised to notice that Quentin’s attitude had dramatically improved. Even more surprised that he maintained it. There had been no crying. Not even frowning. Initially Eliot thought that maybe it was all a façade but the laughter felt genuine and Eliot knew that they only had two rules between them. Always be honest and always keep their promises to each other. Simple rules that under most circumstances would not be easy to keep. 

Life was different for them. These circumstances were not normal. Those two rules were the foundation of their relationship. Eliot and Quentin always followed through. No lies. Sometimes though they were allowed to withhold information. The caveat being that they had to promise to disclose all at a later time. This prevented heat of the moment arguments. It also helped not to ruin surprises. Eliot accepted that Quentin was indeed at peace and maybe even honestly happy. This delighted him but it also irritated him. 

Eliot was sexually frustrated. It had been five months since Quentin and he had last been intimate. Should he keep this to himself or risk upsetting Quentin by talking about it? It wasn’t necessarily Quentin’s fault they hadn’t. They had a son. A son who slept in between them every night. That night five months ago happened after Rupert had been sent to stay with his grandparents. Eliot dedicated himself to rehabilitating Quentin and once he was feeling better they shared a beautiful evening of heavy petting, slow love making and lots of snuggling. It had been a perfect evening. The final evening they had alone before their son would return to them. Now it felt like a distant memory that Eliot was clinging too. 

They had tried to find time and space for just the two of them. Rupert was the ultimate cock block. He’d always manage to walk out right as they were getting heated up. The last time they tried was three weeks ago. Eliot and Quentin waited until Rupert was fast asleep. They each snuck out of their home slowly. One at a time. Quentin would joke that they were like ninjas. Both being so incredibly careful. They knew that Rupert was an extraordinarily light sleeper. Something that only became worse after Arielle had passed away. 

When Quentin finally joined him outside, they melted into each other’s embrace. Eliot’s hands slowly caressed Quentin’s hair before he leaned into his tempting lips. There was so much passion in their kiss. Their lips were like magnets insistent on reconnecting. Right as Eliot’s hands made their way to Quentin’s pants they both heard it. The door of their home had creaked opened. Quentin sighed and laid his head against Eliot’s chest. Rupert only took a few seconds to find them. They accepted the defeat and as a family went back to bed for the evening. They hadn’t tried again since. There were kisses and lots of cuddling but none of that was what Eliot needed right now. Maybe he was being selfish. No matter how much he masturbated in his morning showers, it just wasn’t enough. 

“Where’d you go?” Quentin asked. Eliot had just been starring into nothingness, lost in his thoughts. Quentin had sat observing him before he thought it best to interrupt. Obviously something was on Eliot’s mind.

“Sorry. Just lost in my thoughts.” He was withholding the whole truth. “Would it be alright with you if tomorrow Rupert and I went into the village?”

“Sure. What are you two going to do?”

“Well, I don’t want to tell you about it. Not just yet. Is that ok?” Eliot asked nervously. 

“A surprise?” Quentin said with a big smile. Eliot knew that whatever Quentin was imagining could not possibly be right. Technically anything he did without Quentin’s knowledge would be a surprise. He could live with the technicality.

“You know it. I may actually need to go to the village more than once. How about every other day? Until I have it all figured out. I promise I'll tell you all about it, eventually.”

“Ok El, whatever you need to do.” With that last statement Eliot nodded and they returned to the mosaic for the day. Eliot had made Quentin a promise and that was all Quentin needed to accept whatever may come.  
__________________________________________

The next morning Eliot woke first. After he was showered and ready for the day he woke Rupert. He didn’t really have a plan. He needed to find a solution to their issue. Eliot had decided that instead of risking damage to Quentin’s stable attitude that he would try to find that solution. Whatever it may be. Eliot scooped up Rupert. With a new invigoration and his son securely in his arms Eliot made his way outside to Quentin.

“I love you both.” Quentin said throwing himself into a bear hug that embraced both his partner and his son. “Be good for your Papa.”

“Of course daddy. I am a good boy.” Rupert said flashing his smile.

“I’ll miss you.” Quentin had leaned up to whisper these lovely words into Eliot’s ear. “Come home to me.”

“Always.”  
__________________________________________

Over two weeks, Eliot made six trips to the local village. The days he took Rupert with him they only brought home small things. The first trip was apples, the second brought a blanket and the third was just a small box whose contents were unknown to Quentin. The trips Eliot took without Rupert ended with larger loads of things like logs, tiles, and bigger boxes with unknown contents. Quentin was curious but he loved Eliot’s surprises so he kept his curiosity quiet. 

“How many more trips do you think you’ll need?” Quentin asked.

“Hopefully just the one more but I’ll need Rupert.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Is that fine with you?”

“Yeah, of course it is.” Quentin said sincerely. “Do you think after Rupert’s fallen asleep -” he hesitated for a second, lowering his voice to a faint whisper “maybe we could try to be alone.” Eliot knew what he meant. Quentin’s winking was unnecessary. 

“Sure but maybe we should try something different this time. He always finds us when we sneak out.”

They had decided it was best for all three of them to go outside. Eliot had laid a blanket on the ground. “We are going to watch the stars tonight.” Rupert thought this sounded boring. That was the point Eliot thought. It wasn’t long before Rupert had fallen to sleep and Quentin carried him inside. 

“I hope he stays inside this time.” 

“You’re telling me. Now get over here Q.” Eliot was patting his hands on the blanket, beckoning Quentin to join him. “I need you.” The way he said _need_ was intense; as if he was begging. Quentin happily laid beside him. He loved to look up at Eliot. Look into those amber eyes that made his heart beat faster. Those eyes made him feel complete. They made his cock rock hard. 

“I’ve missed you.” Quentin whined breathlessly. Eliot leaned over into kiss him. At first soft and slow, no tongue. Then faster and sloppier. Eliot pulled Quentin’s hair gently as he moved his lips to Quentin’s neck. The soft moans were driving Eliot crazy. Quentin took Eliot’s hand in his, guiding it slowly down his body. Aggressively he placed it on his hard cock. Eliot did not object, taking it into his hands and pumping it at a speed he knew Quentin yearned for. 

“El, will you please fuck me.” Eliot looked up, just for a second. Rupert was nowhere to be seen. This was the moment he’d been craving. There was no hesitation. He didn’t answer Quentin. There was no need. Eliot was unwrapping him. Appreciating the beauty of his naked body. He would give Quentin exactly what he wanted. Exactly what Eliot had needed.  
__________________________________________

Somehow they had managed to fall asleep outside. More remarkable was that Rupert didn’t interrupt them until the morning. They were both glad that somehow in the afterglow of their passionate evening that they had managed to redress themselves.

Quentin noticed how much more relaxed Eliot was. He was singing to Rupert as he dressed him for the day with a smile that seemed to go from ear to ear. He approached from behind, wrapping his arms around Eliot’s waist. “Last night was magical.”

“You’re telling me.” Eliot glowed draping his arms over Quentin’s. They forgot about Rupert for a second and lost themselves in the embrace.

“I’ll miss you all day. Until you’re home to me again.” Quentin was happy that Eliot’s surprise should be over soon. He was excited to see what he had in store for him but that paled in comparison to how much he missed spending his days with Eliot. They had every other day together to work on the mosaic but he still missed when Eliot wasn't with. 

“I promise today is the last day.” Eliot said promise so Quentin knew that he meant it. “But I’ll still need time here to finish my surprise here.”

__________________________________________

 

When Eliot and Rupert had arrived back that afternoon all they had returned with was a coffee colored leather rucksack. 

Rupert had fallen asleep earlier than usual. When he arrived home he had clearly had a great albeit exhausting day. Quentin and Eliot were enjoying the quiet they did not normally get from the young boy. They sat outside in the same spot they had been entangled into each other mere hours before. 

“So, I want to talk to you about something.” Eliot said abruptly. He didn’t wait for Quentin to reply. “I am actually pretty happy about this but I am worried you might not be.” There was a pause, a deep breath and then he continued. “Rupert can start going to school in a few months. I was talking to some of the mothers in the village. They told me kids start going to school at the age of 6 in Fillory.”

Quentin had been caught off guard by this. He tried to wrap his mind around it but it just confused him. “Are you mad?” Eliot interjected. Quentin's face had changed but Eliot was not sure he knew the expression it was making.

“Uhh… no. No, I am not mad. Just… surprised, maybe a little confused.”

“Confused?”

“Was this the surprise? Why you’ve been taking Rupert to the village.”

“It’s part of it. I took him with me because I was hoping he might start making friends. That’s how I met the mothers.”

Quentin was still confused but he had to admit to himself, he loved that Eliot wanted for Rupert to have friends. They lived so far from the village that the only people he ever saw were the traveling merchants. None of whom ever had young children with them. He knew that this life they had chosen was an unusual one especially for a child.

“You know, I think I may have taken for granted everything that Arielle did for us, especially with Rupert.” He was thinking about how she had really been the parent who let he and Eliot focus on the mosaic. She would take Rupert with her everyday as she delivered her peaches and plums. She'd clean him. Feed him. Play with him. He and Eliot on relieved her at the end of the day for a few hours. He felt a pang of guilt.

“Oh?” Eliot said.

“Thank you for taking him into the village and helping him find friends. I think school is a good thing. Is that what the rucksack is for?”

“Yes. I let him pick it out himself. I didn’t tell him why though. I wanted to make sure that you were on board.”

Quentin had absorbed everything. His confusion was gone. It had been replaced by gratefulness maybe even a little bit of desire. “I am on board.” Eliot had stepped up and done something one Arielle would have ever thought of. Quentin's pang of guilt grew.  
“Great. Then what I need is for you to take Rupert into the village next week and sign him up.” Eliot was making it clear this was a demand. Quentin had no intentions of contradicting this. He needed to step up too. He needed to be a more involved parent. “I’ll give you all the information but I am going to need that time to finish my surprise here.”

“Ok then. You’re lucky I love you.” Quentin said playful. “Let’s tell him in the morning. I can’t wait to see the look on his face.”

They probably could have tried to use this rare moment with Rupert asleep to fool around but instead they simply sat together, arms entwined, enjoying the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not quite sure where this story is going but wanted to try to build on it. Hope you're enjoying it.


	3. Frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliot's surprise runs into some complications.

Eliot is frustrated to say the least. Today should have been a breeze. He thought that getting Rupert and Quentin ready and on their way to the village was going to be the biggest challenge of the day. He’d squared it away with the mothers in the village to keep Quentin busy. Busy enough to finish the surprise. But that was hours ago and here he was frustrated. 

He had carefully pulled out all the supplies he’d managed to gather from his trips to the village. Arranged them in an order that seemed logical. Worked out the math and thought to himself how simple this was supposed to be. Then it wasn’t.

He’s telekinetic for fuck sakes. Why is nothing working like it supposed to?! Oh god, is he happy? He is. He knows he is. And now his magic is shit. Just great. Eliot throws himself on the ground like a pouty toddler. This was not at all what he had planned when he woke up this morning. Now he was doomed to manual labor. 

If he was being honest with himself, his magic had been iffy the last few years. Magic may have come from pain but it was practically extinguished by happiness. And he was happy, for the most part. _I should have done this last week_ he thought to himself _last week when I was so sexually frustrated I could have built a fucking castle in my sleep._

The reality of the situation is that Eliot had made progress, just not much. He thought by this time he would have been done and basking in the sun admiring his work. Instead he had managed to get about half of the work done and it was going by incredibly slowly. Mayakovsky would have been euphoric in this moment, mocking Eliot for his inability to get nails into the logs. _I used to be able to do this without even speaking and look at me now, pathetic._

“Seriously, this is fucking ridiculous!” He yells out to no one in particular. 

The frustration helps. He’s pretty sure it’s the only thing working in his favor right now. He’d made the most progress immediately after he whacked himself in the thumb with a hammer. Mind you, most of the magic he exuded was focused on bringing the swelling down and not on his surprise project.

The surprise project is that he is building an add-on bedroom to their home. A room just for Rupert. He had planned on enchanting the door so that he and Quentin would get a reasonable warning if Rupert was about to interrupt them. But now he would have settled on just being done with the structure. Eliot just needed a way to have some Q time all to himself. It’s a selfish reason to do it, he knows that but Rupert’s growing up. He may not appreciate it now but one day he’ll be thankful Eliot made him his own space. That is if Eliot can figure out how to finish the damn thing. 

All three walls are done. Where Eliot’s stuck is the roof and making a door, and a door way. Right now the room isn’t actually connected to the house – more like just built up next to it. Eliot wasted an entire hour trying to cut a doorway out. All he’d managed to accomplish was an oddly shaped hole that wasn’t quite big enough for his hand to fit through. So he can’t even get inside of the structure. It’s an inaccessible box. 

“Who were you yelling at?” It was Quentin’s voice. He was smiling as he walked alone. Eliot looked up at him from the ground. It’s a sad picture. He’s a dirty mess with disheveled hair. 

“No one.” Quentin could hear the embarrassment in Eliot’s trembling voice. “I wish you weren’t here right now.”

“Oh?”  
Eliot immediately regretted his words. That’s all he needed to do to set Q down the depression rabbit hole.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I am glad your home but… Where’s Rupert?” 

“Rupert is going to stay the night with a boy from the village. His mom told me they were friends. We’ll get him in the morning.” Then Eliot was sobbing. Sobbing like he hadn’t in years. Sobbing like the scared little boy who would hide from his father hoping to be forgotten.Quentin looked concerned. Eliot’s question couldn’t have been what was bothering him. “Tell me about it El.”

“What’s there to tell? My magic doesn’t work – not like it used to.” Quentin didn’t answer, he was waiting for more. Eliot knew that look. The one that said continue on. “I wanted to surprise you. And Rupert.”

Eliot pointed towards the back of their home. The freshly placed log structure missing a roof with no connecting door had somehow not registered with Quentin. 

“You did this without magic?”

“Well, no – kind of – not entirely. I nailed without magic but the rest, it’s all I could manage.”

“I think it looks pretty great. I bet we could finish it up together. What exactly is it though?’

“It’s Rupert room or it will be.”

If anyone knew how to read through Eliot it was certainly Quentin. 

“El, I feel like there might be a lot of stuff you’re not saying right now. Maybe if you said it you’d feel a little better.”

“I don’t want to feel better, not right now Q! I want to be sad and angry. I want my fucking magic to work like it used to.”

“Do you really?” Quentin was being patient. He had been on the other side of conversations like this. Never a willing participant but Eliot would never let him wallow in his self-pity and sadness. “We don’t really use a lot of magic here El. That’s not what our life here is about. I mean, Fillory is magic so it does that for us.”

“I can’t even make a door! Or a fucking roof!” The tears in his eyes pulled at Quentin’s heart. He hated to see Eliot down. He felt worse because Eliot was still on the ground looking up at him. The wounded look was too much to handle. Quentin squatted himself down next to Eliot, wrapping his arms around him and holding him in a hug. 

“You’re so upset right now, you could probably make a door and a roof simultaneously.” Quentin said gently whispering into Eliot’s ear. “I think there’s more you want to tell me El.”

Eliot pulled away from the hug, wiped the tears from his eyes than their trails off his cheeks. He pulled a deep breathe in and finally said, “I guess we have to talk now, huh?” Quentin just smiled. He was all ears.

“So, I wanted to do this surprise – well, I went into the village because –” he was tripping over words, being extra careful not to say anything that might trigger Quentin. Even in his frustration, Eliot worried more about Quentin then himself.

As if he sensed Eliot’s hesitation, “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. We always figure it out together. Right?”

Eliot nodded. “Q, I’ve been very sexually frustrated. I know that recently we, you know. But it had been months. Agonizing months. So that’s why I went to the village. I needed an idea, something to fix this.” Eliot motioned his hand over his crotch and then to Quentin’s. Quentin tried to be serious but the motion cracked him up. 

“I am sorry our crotches haven’t been as close as they used to be.”

“Funny.” Eliot said not even mildy amused. “I just kind of wandered the village. I had no plans. When I found kids for Rupert to play with I had some time to think and I saw a man building a house. That’s when it hit me, we needed to expand. Rupert’s getting older and eventually he’s going to want his own space.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me this El? What about always being honest and always keeping our promises to each other.”

“I didn’t lie. I promised I would tell you, eventually and that’s exactly what we’re doing right now. Right?” It was a technicality and he knew that. He’s been hiding his truth from Quentin because he was anxious. “I thought I was being petty. I mean, I am telling you I want to kick our son out of our bed so we can fuck.”

Quentin blushed with a little giggle. “Oh El. I want that too! It doesn’t make us bad parents. Look, I have an idea – something that works for me but, well it’s not going to be nice. Eh, it’s going to suck but it’ll help.”

Eliot said nothing. His eyes just gazed vacantly waiting for Quentin do act. At first he readjusted himself from a squat so that he was sitting right next to Eliot. He took his hand, entangled their fingers and began to talk in a calm tone.

“Do you remember when I first got to Brakebills? You were the first person I met. I thought I was going crazy, well crazier. And you didn’t help that. I just see this beautiful man elegantly lying about and he just so happens to be waiting for me. I thought I’d lost complete touch with reality. That I was as crazy as I feared. Everything happened so fast and you were gone before I knew it and the crazier just kept coming. But then I woke up and before my brain could overload itself for its next breakdown, there you were; with Margo.”

Her name, neither of them had said it in years. When they first arrived they would spend hours talking about their friends. Especially Margo, she was exceptional to them. With time talking about their life before became painful and so they just stopped talking about it. Arielle had come into their lives and they decided that it was time to live in the moment and let go of their lives before. 

“And it was the funniest thing El, she totally gave you away. _he’s not that cute_ I was in such a daze I didn’t grasp what had happened until much later.”

“Do you remember when we went into the city for Julia’s terrible birthday?” Eliot asked. “Margo wanted pizza so bad once she was drunk. She demanded we stop and get some before going back to Brakebills.”

“Oh yeah, she was so drunk she fell into the street while trying to eat it. It was hilarious. She was so angry.” He smiled at the memory.

“I haven’t thought about her in so long.”

“I know El. We don’t talk about any of that anymore. I know it hurts but… it’s a part of us. I miss Margo all the time. I miss them all. Even Penny.” Quentin let them sit for a moment, lost in memories of a life they no longer had. “Alright, are you ready?” He was pulling himself off the ground, offering a hand out to Eliot. There was no use in arguing so Eliot took his hand. 

They walked hand in hand to the structure Quentin had built. He took his time observing the work. It was sloppy but nothing that they couldn’t improve upon. 

“I want you to focus El. Focus on your magic and what you’re trying to do here.’ Eliot closed his eyes and did as Quentin said. “Alright, stay focused but think about Margo. Try to remember how much she loved you. Think about how we’ll never see her again. She’ll never know what happened to us. We’ll be dead long before she’s even been born.”

The words tore through Eliot like a knife. He ached so deeply that his knees buckled. He was sobbing again but it was miraculous. He’d felt all the energy drain from his body. When he finally opened his eyes the roof was completed. Quentin looked pleased with himself for a man who’d just brought his partner to tears. 

“You know what I learned about magic a long time ago, from you? That it comes from pain. What I learned from myself was that we control the power that pain has. Magicians, we kind of live for it because, you know, power. But here, well here El, we are happy. We’ve found ways to forgive our pasts and move forward with our lives. I still carry my pain with him. There’s things I can’t let go of. When I really need magic I focus on those things, focus on the pain, the sadness, on every little fucked up ounce of whatever it is, I pull all of that out to make magic – when I need to.

“I remember when you finally let go of the pain from your childhood. It was right after Rupert was born. When you’d stay up at night walking with him under the stars telling him your versions of Disney movies. When you knew you were a good father, in spite of everything that your dad did, that’s when you let go of that pain. It was really beautiful to see. I am not sure when you let go of the guilt and pain for killing Logan and Mike but I know you don’t carry those burdens with you anymore. That’s not my point, eh, my point is it is ok to let some of the pain in. Not all of the truly terrible ugly shit that made us who we were on Earth. But its ok to let the loss of our old lives and the people we loved in. That pain is what makes us human and it’s what keeps our magic alive.”

“Quentin Coldwater, you know you’re the only person whose solution would be to make me sadder right?” 

“What I am trying to tell you is that some pain is ok. Let go of the terrible shit but hold on to what really mattered. It’s ok to miss Margo. Use that pain as power.”

“I know what you’re trying to say Q.”

“Alright then, let’s go make a door.”  
__________________________________________  
Quentin and Eliot stayed up late into the night. Together they had completed the structure including the enchanted door. Quentin had taken the scraps and constructed a small bed that was just big enough for Rupert to grow another foot or so before it would need to be replaced. Eliot was pleased with himself and grateful for Quentin. 

“We should really be going to bed soon. We’ve got to pick up Rupert in the morning.”

“You’re right.” Eliot sighed. “Thank you for everything Q. I don’t think I could have gotten through this day without you.”

“As long as were together we can do anything El. That’s how love works, or at least it’s how our love works.”

“I love you too Q.” Eliot said through a yawn before closing his eyes and drifting to sleep.


	4. A Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some lovey dovey fluff.

Quentin and Eliot had fallen back into their mosaic routine. Things had been great the past few months. Rupert still spent most nights in bed with them but since he had started school they found more time to be alone together. Their relationship did not lack for passion. 

Quentin couldn’t help but notice how relaxed and at peace Eliot was now. Singing to himself as he placed another green tile down. Quentin loved how beautiful his voice was. He didn’t recognize the song but he reveled in its loveliness. It was as if the song was calling to him and he needed to answer. Quentin made his way off the ladder and strolled to Eliot’s side. Eliot was so focused on the song and the next tile in his hand that he hadn’t noticed that Quentin had made himself comfortable by his side. It was the soft touch of Quentin’s fingers running through his hair that finally caught his attention. 

“Hey Q.” Eliot said as he leaned in for a simple kiss. Quentin happily obliged. 

“I love when you sing while you work. Voice of an angel.” 

“Didn’t even realize I was.” Eliot smiled. He was being honest but he also loved a good compliment. Especially when they came from Quentin. They had been sitting there, happily gazing at one another in silence. The minutes seemed to pass by quickly before Quentin finally interrupted the serenity of the silence. 

“El, I am feeling a little.. uhm, not restless, bored? Eh.. uh..” Quentin had managed to lose himself in the lack of poise of his words. Eliot was used to this, no matter how much time passed Quentin could still manage to get stuck within his own thoughts. “I don’t think I want to work today.” He finally managed to blurt out. 

“So what do you have in mind?” Eliot said flirtatiously. He’d assumed that Quentin was using this opportunity to have them sneak off into their home for an afternoon delight.

“I kind of just want to talk to you.”

“Oh. About?” Eliot tone had changed to concern.

“I don’t know. Nothing’s wrong. I just feel like having a conversation with my favorite person.”

Eliot could tell that Quentin was doing his best not to give him reason for concern. He wasn’t entirely convinced but figured if there was something to be concerned about their upcoming conversation would reveal it. 

“So what would you like us to talk about then Q?” Eliot said in a tone that did its best not be apprehensive. 

“Why don’t you tell me about when you first realized you loved me?” Quentin said with a grin. 

“Oh Q, you’re such a nerd. Sure. Let me think, this obviously needs to be perfect.” Eliot closed his eyes as his mind raced trying to think about when exactly his love for Quentin had evolved from their once platonic friendship. 

Quentin had taken advantage of the moment to go inside their home and grab a blanket and a few pillows. Figuring by the time he’d return that Eliot would be ready to tell him the tale. Much to his surprise Eliot still sat where he left him, eyes closed and lost in his own thoughts. So Quentin proceeded to set up a spot for them to lay down and talk on the grass.

“Why don’t you join me over here?” The sound brought Eliot back to reality. He opened his eyes and saw that Quentin was delighting in gazing at him. He said nothing as he picked himself off the mosaic and made his way over to his partner. They normally laid outside at nights like this, starring up at the stars and moons with Rupert. In all their time here he couldn’t remember them ever doing this while the sun was out. Eliot brought himself down next to Quentin and laid back on to the pillow. Quentin took the opportunity to toss the blanket over them and lay his head onto Eliot’s chest. Wrapping himself into Eliot’s embrace. 

“So you obviously know that I was attracted to you the first time we met.”

“You’ve told me.”

“I loved you as a friend almost immediately. I felt a connection to you that was a strong as Margo but different, good different. You were just this cute, wounded guy who made me feel like… like I wasn’t alone. Talking and sharing with you, it was so easy. I had to go through the trials with Margo to get that level of comfort but with you Q, it was natural. You felt safe. 

“Then there was that messy threesome we had. I tried to act all cool and comprised on the outside. The memory was hazy but I couldn’t stop thinking about when we kissed. The soft feeling of your lips on mine. I wanted more but… well, that threesome had ruined so much already. I really thought it had ruined us. I was trying to be poised but I was pure panic on the inside. Things just kind of eventually went back to a new normal and we were ok, so I put those thoughts out of my mind.

“Then there was that whole High King of Fillory thing, we don’t need to rehash out all of that but that time in my life, especially the time that we were apart - ” Eliot had paused. There was a lump in his throat as if he was fighting back tears. “That’s when I knew I had really fallen in love with you Q. It was a really hard realization. Trapped in a relationship of forced monogamy with some stranger and you weren't there. I… I was so… so… sad.” 

Quentin had started to adjust himself in an attempt to find Eliot’s face to comfort him but before he could really move Eliot arm squeezed tighter around him. 

“Time went by. Then I was banished from Fillory and I thought to myself, well Q’s here and he’ll help me and maybe we can figure this out. By the time I found you though, the whole Alice thing just kind of told me no. So I didn’t. Ultimately everything else just became my focus. Honestly, I was trying to put the feelings out of my mind. Trying to tell myself I didn’t really love you that way. I’d convinced myself that it was me wanting something I knew couldn’t have. Honestly, I was just happy to have you back in my life.

“Then we ended up here. At first I thought we might kill each other. It was all so exhausting and depressing and hard. The not knowing of it all. I think we’d been here about 10 months before I knew that I really did love you. There was this day. You were the just most frustrating person. Somehow you’d really convinced yourself that particular day we were going to solve the mosaic. You couldn't be talked out of it and just refused to listen to reason. Then you placed that last tile and like so many times before, nothing happened. Instead of just being defeated by it, you got up and walked away. You just furiously walked to the edge of the forest and disappeared into the trees. I was concerned, so I followed behind you slowly.” Eliot started to laugh to himself. “Then you just let out like 50 fucks. It was hilarious. I don’t know if you knew I would hear but I did and honestly, I got it because really, fuck this shit sometimes. I headed back to mosaic to start removing the tiles and let you finish yelling into the woods. You made your way back to me not long after.”

“I remember that day. I got back to the mosaic and you just hugged me.” Quentin said. He’d managed to pull himself partially up, leaning on to his side looking down at Eliot. 

“I did. I saw how red your face was. I knew that no matter how many fucks you screamed that you still felt shitty. So all I could do was hug you. As I held you close though, everything was clear. All of my own frustration seemed to fade as you lingered in my arms. The smell of your dirty hair filled my senses and somehow, I delighted in it. When you finally pulled away from me, I missed you. You were standing right there in front of me and I missed you Q.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Quentin asked.

“I thought about it but all these what if’s kept coming up. What if he rejects me? What if I ruin our friendship? What if it’s awkward for the rest of our time here? What if he's not really into men? What if I am wrong?” Eliot’s face had looked a little pained for a moment but he’d managed to pull himself back into a smile. “You were the one who changed all that. On our anniversary. When you kissed me first. That changed everything for me. Kissing you back. Making love to you that evening. Everything in the world changed for me that night. I couldn’t lie to myself anymore and pretend that this love, that I didn’t know it existed. I realized that life had wanted us together and that it was us who managed to keep us apart. I didn’t think we did it intentionally. I was just happy that I finally got it.”

“Got what?” Quentin asked confused. Eliot moved himself on to his side, bringing his eyes to meet Quentin’s. He brushed a stray strand of hair behind Quentin’s ear.

“That we are soul mates Q. That we are supposed to be together. That I could stop running from this love.” 

There were no words worth adding. Quentin simply leaned into Eliot and passionately kissed him. He’d tangled his hands into Eliot’s curls. Their tongues knew the routine so well that there was no need to think.

“You know, we don’t have to pick up Rupert from school for another three hours. Why don’t we take this moment inside the house?” Quentin winked and Eliot laughed breathlessly. 

“You going to show me how much you love me Q?”

“Something like that.”

The men walked hand in hand to their home. All Eliot could think was today was another day in paradise.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at fanfic. I absolutely adore Queliot. Please feel free to be brutally honest. I may or may not keep writing - that probably depends on feedback.


End file.
